Marriage, family in China changing   2002-10-23 11:08:17 Over the past decades, Chinese behavior has changed greatly, as a result of the transformation from a planned economy to a market one, and from a closed society to an open one. While people applaud the release from the shackles of old conventions, they also worry about the erosion of traditional family values, such as fidelity and responsibility. "My husband is having an affair. What should I do？" "I can't get along with my wife any more. Should I divorce her？" These are the questions often heard at the Maple Women's Hotline in Beijing. Since its start in 1992, marriage and love have dominated the lines, taking over 38 percent of all call－ins from around China. Sexual issues, formerly a taboo here, follow in as the second with 18 percent. "The figures indicate changes in people's minds about marriage. One is that couples have higher expectations for their marital life. The other is that sex is now a more crucial part of marriage," said Wang Xingjuan, senior researcher of Maple Women's Psychological Counseling Center. With the rise in living standards and better education, modern Chinese care more about the quality of marriage. It's widely accepted that a couple's sex life isn't restricted to having a child, but also a legal way to pursue sexual satisfaction. And a woman is not only a wife or a mother, but also an individual who is economically independent and enjoys equal interests and rights with a man. So, when a couple's relation sours, they may take divorce as an option rather than remaining under the same roof. In the past, divorce, although legal, was often frowned upon. Applicants needed the permission of their workplace and were often persuaded to stay together. The 1950 Marriage Law allowed divorce only "when mediation has failed to bring about a reconciliation." Now, a new law makes it possible to get a divorce in a day. Couples who agree to settlement terms can register at local civil affairs departments. Otherwise, they have to file for divorce in court. Statistics indicate that China's divorce rate has almost quadrupled in the past 20 years. The number of divorces reached 1.2 million in 2000 and is expected soon to be 2 million a year. Besides, there's widespread tolerance for living together before marriage and for the DINK family （double income and no kids）. "I have friends who are DINK couples, and friends who live together. Modern society allows various life styles. People who'd rather live together can also have a happy life," said a Chinese citizen. But changes also mean the growing problems of "a second wife" and extra－marital affairs, and even bigamy. China's legislative body revised Marriage Law last year to tackle these problems. For the married, the law bans cohabitation with someone other than a spouse, and includes domestic violence as a crime. However, marriage and family issues are general social issues. And the law is not a cure－all. Though people show their tolerance for divorce, live－ins, and DINK family, no one I spoke to was willing to face the camera to talk about himself or herself. Just as it took decades to add new lines to the law, Chinese need time to be more at ease with the changes.