Sunset Love 

cctv.com 04-27-2005 17:13

At the end of the 20th century, still in the thick of a battle to limit the rampant growth of its population, China found itself with a new challenge: that of a graying society, which is to say that the average age of its population began to rise.

According to the Chinese Census Bureau, in the year 2004, there were already 145 million Chinese people over the age of 60, accounting for just over 11% of the national population. According to experts鈥predictions, and supported by the latest statistics, by the year 2020, there will be 243 million older people, and by 2050, there will be 400 million, an estimated 26% of the total population. Till the end of 2004, there were 35.1% of China鈥檚 elderly were empty nesters, 23.4% were widowers.

What is it like to be an older person? Perhaps many people haven鈥檛 given much thought to what the last years of one鈥檚 life can mean to a person. When you have lost the ability to work, it doesn鈥檛 just mean the decrease of your salary, but in many cases, also getting excluded from society鈥檚 mainstream, and facing some of life鈥檚 tragedies, like an empty nest, illness, or becoming a widow. To many older people who now face life alone, the prospect of finding another person to share life with is a common dream.

When a person reaches old age, the social opportunities that society provides are at best different from those available to younger people, and at worst, non-existent. Though older people can certainly choose to participate in activities with others, the majority of their time is still spent alone.

In life, we are fortunate if we can avoid tragedies brought on by unexpected, uncontrollable things. However, anyone who enters into marriage faces the likelihood of that happy marriage ending in the death of one partner before the other, leaving one as a widow. And to make a bad situation worse, most people become widows at the time in life when they are at their most fragile.

As the standard of living has risen, one after another, families have moved into apartment buildings, choosing single-family accommodations over the more crowded ones of the past. Accompanying this trend, there are fewer and fewer parents living with their already-married children. Now the adult children of these older people are busy with the work of running a family of their own, often leaving their elders feeling neglected and alone. To combat this loneliness, more and more Chinese seniors are moving into retirement communities to live out the remainder of their years.

Here are some views of Taisheng Xianghe, a Beijing retirement community with exceptionally good conditions. Despite the numerous options for social interaction and involvement, many of its residents still find themselves dealing with loneliness, sometimes because of children who live far away or due to the passing of friends and loved ones.

Mr. Xu moved into this community last October, just after his wife passed away. He found the loneliness of life without her unbearable.

Mr. Xu has the added sadness of children and grandchildren who live abroad and have limited chances to visit. How, then, do elderly people come out of the tragedy of being widowed and find a new reason to live? Some say remarriage.

No matter how caring and attentive grown children are, their love can never take the place of that special partner. Many elderly people have no worries as far as their basic needs are concerned, but remain nonetheless fundamentally unhappy. This is often because they lack a partner to share life with.

Ms. Liu鈥檚 first husband died when their son was just six years old, and out of concern for their son, she never remarried. Once her son was grown, more and more people encouraged her to consider remarriage.

Although nervous and hesitant at first, Mr. and Mrs. Liu began to warm up to the possibility of marriage as they realized how much they had in common. Finally, in 2000 they took the brave step that ended their loneliness.

One of the greatest joys the Lius have found in their time together is the creation of Chinese traditional artwork. Mr. Liu, a talented painter, creates the designs, and Ms. Liu completes the pieces with her impressive calligraphy. They use a seal that features both their names to sign their truly meaningful works of art.

Another hobby they have in common is going for walks in the park. To get to and from their home, they ride a makeshift motorcycle that Mr. Liu put together himself.

China has an old saying: 鈥渢he spouse of youth is the companion of later years.鈥For a person to have this 鈥渃ompanion鈥is a guarantee of happiness late in life. Elderly people should be able to remarry; it seems to be a decision that can only bring positive outcomes, and is beyond reproach. However, in reality, for many elderly people, remarriage is rarely simply a carefree decision: couples are often highly dissatisfied with their unions, and the logistics of the marriage itself often create many kinds of disagreements, to name just a few of the problems they face.

Due to historical efforts to encourage traditional ideas in China, older people tend to feel, for example, that remarriage is disrespectful to the partner who passed away. For some Chinese people, a sense of morality leads to the belief that remarriage among older people is abnormal, or even scandalous. This, in turn, creates a fear of being outcast for those who dare consider remarriage in their older years.